Tyler Moore or Burchill?

Some people have wandered from the faith by following such foolishness. (1 Timothy 6:21)

My boss has a girlfriend. Yippee I cry and promptly decide the slightly lesser boss has lovely eyes.

I am thinking that perhaps a healthy and potentially more lucrative way of approaching the situation is to pre-empt things imaginatively: write a Mills and Boon novel of workplace romance starring me, my boss and my lesser boss. And if I get started early enough, anything even approaching 'shenanigans' will be infinitely less satisfying than those which my imagination has already envisaged.

The idea came to me on the late shift last night, when I found myself in one of the cellar rooms with a head full of soft-core uses for the space. Do other people do this as well? Men according to 90s statistics do every few seconds and so they're given leeway. Women, however, have only recently been allowed to voice these kinds of ideas and even then it's frowned upon in polite society. Men who seem otherwise sound will suddenly spout off that they'd prefer to settle down with someone like Mary Tyler Moore than Julie Burchill. Ok, who wouldn't, but in the long term I think I'd put up with the anger and eloquent bile in favour of the insight and intelligent humour. Perfect hair and a pretty smile can have the same long-term effects as Chintz wallpaper: originally charming to look at, but sickly and almost certainly doomed to be out-of-fashion after too long.

VS

I am a voicer. Really? Hadn't noticed, says the stranger in the bus queue, who listened to my views on misinformant timetables for the last ten minutes. They say that it's the quiet ones who are getting all the sex, the ones who talk about it all the time aren't. I can agree with that, on some level. But for me, most of my encounters were fuel for entertainment and reflection. Perhaps if I had a bit more money I'd have just gone to Peru or Iceland, or taken flying lessons or swum with Walruses (Walrii?). Perhaps once I'd realised how interesting the whole sexual encounter thing could be, I wanted to investigate more? Perhaps this is another excuse!

Had a brilliant time this weekend, a friend's birthday/leaving party. We went to a dingy yet funky bowling alley off Russell Square that had a DJ, a bar and a late licence. Needless to say I got drunk and played the worst game of my life, but it didn't matter because it was a party and they were playing candy floss dance and popular indie. It's difficult to take yourself seriously when Shampoo are following the Killers and you've just dropped the bowling ball backwards into your waiting friends.

Another great part of the night was having no one I could risk seducing. I could get drunk without fear of throwing myself at some poor unfortunate whose only crime was walking past and looking cute. With that in mind I have decided to rate the potential temptation of nights out on a scale of 'lonely' to 'too many friends to get lonely'. Of course if a night out could be classed as 'lonely' there's very little likelihood I'd bother to make the trip.

I might just stay home and get started on that romance novel.