treated like a lady and feeling like a fraud

Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man, but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel (Proverbs 20:17)

I went on a real and proper grown-up date last night! With a grown-up. I even planned my outfit in advance.

Had I the time I might have found someone to teach me about the etiquette of cutlery, but as I am not a prostitute, he is not a billionaire and this is no Hollywood movie, I settled for taking time out to straighten my hair.

To cut what could be a long and rather boring story, the evening was wonderful. Dinner, the theatre and then after-show drinks were the superficial trappings; enjoyable conversation, smiles and mutual respect were what made it more than an exercise in courtship.

This guy likes me! But, more importantly, I like him and I'm not finding him unattractive because he likes me. (I know, I know, a rather dysfunctional tendency)

Of course, I can't just enjoy this. No no. I must agonise and worry and enthuse and panic. So this guy likes me, so I like him. This doesn't mean he won't take my anxious heart, rip it from my be-padded bosom, and stir-fry it in strips before my weeping eyes.

This also doesn't mean he won't decide my past is just a little too unsavoury for his liking. I don't think I give off any innocent, naive impression. In fact, I'm sure of it. But when someone compliments you in the way that this guy has, it is difficult not to feel like a fraud, masquerading as a lady.